Amma I love you,
I know you are watching me and protecting me every minute . while I miss your touch everyday but I know I am surrounded by your blessings .
I know it was difficult for you to leave us mid way but I am glad you made the right choice because we could not see you suffering .
To be honest amma , it does not feel as if you are not here with us physically , we feel your presence every time we are home, we feel you are coming home back from work and will check on us as soon as you enter, I can feel your magic in every corner of the home.
I am part of you even before I knew my identity , so I know our bond is eternal. I know how you will react watching me from there doing all the things I do .
Watching us at this very moment , I can imagine how much you are missing Raaga and me.
I still don’t know if I have completely accepted your departure , or if I actually just did not digest the fact that you chose a new world too early .
Amma , I miss irritating you as soon as I come home , I miss you feeding me when I ignore to eat , I miss you sorting fights between me & Raaga , and I miss our family karaoke sessions because we don’t have a purpose and audience any more.
But ma I don’t want to miss you being here for me , because I know you are still there for me and that you will be there , right there when I need you and I promise ma I will do you proud.
Amma , I’m sorry ma , even though I expressed my love for you through tiny acts ,I told you I love you very occasionally, but you always knew I loved you , I still do and I will continue to .I know that you love us forever amma , but I just wish I had said it when you could reply .
I love you Amma
Amma , you are the most wonderful person I ever witnessed , You understood me so well ; fighting cancer is not easy and I still wonder how you managed the pain so well without telling me a word about it . You’ve taught me how to be as confident as I am , you’ve taught me how to keep myself together , you’ve taught me that it’s okay to be messy and confused as long as I know I am myself , you taught me how to create my own principles , you taught me how to be independent , but I thought independence was just standing up on my own feet , I didn’t know it would come with so many responsibilities .
More than anything ma , you are the sculptor of this statue and I promise it will make you proud .
SRILAKSHMI KANAKALA (1975-2020) You are Beautiful, Strong and the absolute BEST MA.
106 thoughts on “letter to amma”