what is independence without you?

Recently I got a school assignment to talk about the army and its determination as a part of our independence week celebration.

So I called up one of my family friend ,who’s dad was army officer now 87 and retired , and as I was talking ,thatagaru said and I quote “ To be very honest , it wasn’t hard being at the border , but the hardest part was the vacation; when I came home and  every time I came home my two little kids didn’t look so little anymore and even though it felt good being at the border throughout the year , it was only hurtful when I had to leave family after vacation” 

He laughed when I asked him if he was ever scared of losing his life. And replied “the only thing I was scared of is what my family and my little children would do if I was gone , but maybe that’s what army is , it never gives you the time to think about yourself “

After the talk with him , I realised that its not as easy as it sounds to be on the border , its not easy to wake up everyday not knowing if you will still breathe as the day evolves.

The Indian Army looks out for us while putting their lives at stake ,From when we got Independence till 2013 about 23,000 soldiers lost their lives while protecting ours. 

And the fact that we are all here today at this very moment , doing what we are doing , despite all the non state actors out there is itself proof that their determination can determine our lives. 

JAI HIND!

question – the first one yet

If you had only one week left to live , what would you do ?

letter to amma

Amma I love you,

I know you are watching me and protecting me every minute . while I miss your touch everyday but I know I am surrounded by your blessings .

I know it was difficult for you to leave us mid way but I am glad you made the right choice because we could not  see you suffering .

To be honest amma , it does not feel as if you are not here with us physically , we feel your presence every time we are home, we feel you are coming home back from work and will check on us as soon as you enter, I can feel your magic in every corner of the home.

I am part of you even before I knew my identity , so I know our bond is eternal. I know how you will react watching me from there doing all the things I do .

Watching us at this very moment , I can imagine how much you are missing Raaga and me.

I still don’t know if I have completely accepted your departure , or if I actually just did not digest the fact that you chose a new world too early .

Amma , I miss irritating you as soon as I come home , I miss you feeding me when I ignore to eat , I miss you sorting fights between me & Raaga , and I miss our family karaoke sessions because we don’t have a purpose and audience any more.

But ma I don’t want to miss you being here for me , because I know you are still there for me and that you will be there , right there when I need you  and I promise ma I will do you proud.

Amma , I’m sorry ma , even though I expressed my love for  you through tiny acts ,I  told you I love you very  occasionally, but you always knew I loved you , I still do and I will continue to .I know that you love us forever amma , but I just wish I had said it when you could reply .

I love you Amma

Amma , you are the most wonderful person I ever witnessed  , You understood me so well ; fighting cancer is not easy and I still wonder how you managed the pain so well without telling me a word about it . You’ve taught me how to be as confident as I am , you’ve taught me how to keep myself together , you’ve taught me that it’s okay to be messy and confused as long as I know I am myself , you taught me how to create my own  principles , you taught me how to be independent , but I thought independence was just standing up on my own feet , I didn’t know it would come with so many responsibilities .

More than anything ma , you are the sculptor of this statue and I promise it will make you proud .

SRILAKSHMI KANAKALA (1975-2020) You are Beautiful, Strong and the absolute BEST MA.