NUNCHI

Apart from the storybooks I had read during my childhood, I haven’t read much. The last time I tried to read a book it took me 4 months or so to finish it, but this time I finished ‘The power of Nunchi ‘ in 4 days.

And what fascinated me about this book is that it’s about Korean culture and upbringing which seemed quite captivating.

70 years ago after a war, South Korea was one of the poorest countries , and now it has become one of the richest , coolest and the most technologically advanced country.

And K-POP was another thing (though I’m not it’s biggest fan) which roused my curiosity to know why it was such a big thing.

Why did it become so popular in so many different countries? And why do people die over these bands ?

As the book says , the answer to these questions is nunchi.

Nunchi in my words is a subtle art of eye measuring everyone in the room while reading their energies , and how you should conduct yourself in tune with the opposite person. This book is all about how to achieve that.

An anecdote from the author’s life described in the book sort of stuck with me.

The author Euny Hong , accidentally offended  her family friend , and while defending herself to her father Euny said , “ I didn’t mean to upset Jinny’s mother “ to which her father replied “ The fact that the harm wasn’t intentional doesn’t make it better , it makes it worse.”

And she then thinks about it the other way 

“Children who choose to be mean at least know what they hope to achieve by it, whether that’s getting even with a sibling or winding up a parent. But a child who doesn’t even know what consequences their words have on people ?”

Children who are not aware of what they are doing and the consequences of it ? It is likely that they end up hurting themselves or the other person.

And that made me understand that nunchi is also a lot about self awareness .

One more point that appealed to me is what Euny  says in the middle of the book  about  empathy.  We have often heard that empathy is a most valued quality everyone must inculcate categorically. But Euny says empathy is extremely overvalued and “ the road to hell is paved with empathy”. This has given me a new insight and as a person who has suffered on account of my empathetic nature I could relate to it almost instantaneously. 

Putting yourself in somebody else’s shoes all the time is not going to let you be objective towards the situation and I have a handful of experiences where I hurt myself while trying to understand and help other people.

Nunchi and empathy do have a few similarities and Euny says that you need both in order to understand people.

These examples Euny used and the inspiring quotable lines in the book are what kept me reading . I could relate to the book  at several levels.

It also has some fun quizzes towards the end of every chapter  which gives the reader  quite an interactive experience.

If you  read the book then do share your thoughts about the book in the comment section.

can we heal ourselves ?

Thank you so much Lellavati aunty ,for gifting me Louise Hay’s YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE around summer last year!

 I was really not a reader back then , so I took sweet three months to complete reading the book and thanks to my Dad who kept pushing me to complete it.

The book is very inspiring and what really hooked me is the chapter that describes the life story of Louise Hay : how her parents  got divorced when she was  eighteen months old and why her mom married her step dad -was it because she actually loved him or just for providing them a home . 

Louis Hay described how she faced constant sexual and physical abuse as a child by predators around her ; she ran away from her family at the age of fifteen. 

Starvedof self esteem and affection she gave her body to anyone who was kind to her , and right after her 16^thbirthday she gave birth to a baby girl. She found her child a good home and left  5 days after the birth of the child. 

 Onovercoming the mental pattern of guilt and shame she went back home and got her mom away from all the abuse there . She left her sister with her step dad as her sister was always daddy’s little girl.

After making her mom comfortable , she left for Chicago for 30 days and didn’t return for over 30 years. She then left for New York and became a fashion model; yet she couldn’t own her beauty and her self esteem stayed the same. 

She met a handsome English man. She travelled the world with him and  married him. They had fourteen years of beautiful marriage till her husband expressed his desire to marry another woman. 

She was devastated , but she moved on with time.  She studied and passed a test and became a counsellor at the church of religious sciences soon . 

And all of a sudden one fine day she was diagnosed with cancer , and yet with all her understanding, she knew that mental healing worked , she knew that getting an operation was not the ultimate cure for her disease.  She knew she had to dissolve the mental pattern that created this disease in her . She negotiated with the doctors for sometime and did everything in her power , from consulting a therapist to getting reflexology. And six months later there was no trace of cancer! 

And in the joy of celebrating she found out that her mother had been blind for years .

And as she began to get back to her normal life , she got a call from her sister , the first call in years , that her mother , blind , almost deaf , has fallen and broken her back . 

She got her mom’s cataract off one eye and got her a hearing aid too.

This one chapter made me read the entire book . The book is about the power of the subconscious mind and the power of self-healing that we all possess ; it is also about the value of self esteem which most of us lack in right proportions. 

More importantly, the book has made me realise how my mom’s true love for me has made me love myself.